Do You Believe That Every Man Cheats Because Of His Dna Makeup

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Chronic infidelity is common with narcissists and gaslighters.

Source: Vera Arsic/Pexels

Gaslighters and narcissists are chronic cheaters. Information technology doesn't matter how "good" of a partner you are, or how much of your life you've devoted to them (because they demanded it). They will still cheat. But why is infidelity and so mutual with this toxic personality? Go along reading to learn more.

1. They are constantly looking to refill their "narcissistic supply."

Gaslighters/narcissists have a bottomless pit of need. They are always looking for someone to make full that pit. However, no matter how much you surrender for the gaslighter/narcissist and focus all your attention on them, they will still cheat (Sarkis, 2019). That is the nature of the gaslighter/narcissist. Information technology has nothing to do with who you are—information technology has everything to practice with their pathology. Gaslighters/narcissists will crook specially if their personality skews towards being less responsible and having low cocky-discipline (Buss & Shackleford, 1997).

2. They "love-bomb" you at the start of your human relationship, and then devalue you.

You will never be able to do anything correct, co-ordinate to the gaslighter/narcissist. At the start of your relationship, information technology seemed like you could do no wrong. The gaslighter/narcissist told yous that you were perfect, that you were everything they were looking for, and that they never felt this way before. So things changed. The gaslighter/narcissist started picking on y'all, a piffling matter here, a little thing there. Then it seemed like no matter what you did, y'all were "damned if you do, damned if you don't." This is because the gaslighter/narcissist puts you upwards on a pedestal until they know you are "hooked"—but you eventually autumn off that pedestal, and it's a long way down. This has zip to do with you, even though information technology feels deeply personal. It'due south a character trait of a gaslighter/narcissist.

As well expect for the following common behaviors from gaslighters/narcissists:

three. They blame you for the cheating.

You never "make" someone cheat. That is a decision they made on their own. Do non fall for the gaslighter/narcissist "blame game." It'due south a way to distract, and it'south also an attempt to make you feel guilty. The gaslighter/narcissist is 100% responsible for their adulterous. Menstruation.

iv. They accuse you lot of cheating, with no proof.

Gaslighters/narcissists are great at projecting. They will blame you and charge yous of something they are actually doing. They will yell at you that they know you are cheating considering you are 30 minutes late coming habitation from work. They will even threaten to look through your telephone. Why is the gaslighter/narcissist projecting? Considering it takes the focus of their own cheating. The more than you scurry trying to figure out why the gaslighter/narcissist is accusing yous of adulterous, the more you aren't looking at what is happening correct nether your nose. And that is exactly how the gaslighter/narcissist wants it.

five. They don't have whatever precautions with their sexual health.

When yous catch gaslighters/narcissists cheating (if they finally admit to it, which is rare), they volition tell y'all they used protection when they had sex activity. Exercise not believe them. They didn't consider yous or your relationship, and then why would they be making your sexual health a priority? Become tested equally soon equally possible, and at regular intervals later on that.

6. They expect you to tolerate their beliefs.

The gaslighter/narcissist has continually worked at making you experience insecure. This is for a purpose—they don't want to surrender a source of egotistic supply, even if they are getting narcissistic supply somewhere else. If you lot tell them you are leaving, the gaslighter/narcissist will normally say something along the lines of, "No one volition love you like I will," "Who else exercise you think is going to put up with yous?" and "Skilful luck, there'southward the door." If they tell y'all to go ahead and go out, become ready because ...

vii. They volition do whatever it is to get you lot back.

It'south very confusing when you are in a relationship with someone that doesn't treat you well, simply yet doesn't want you to go out them. The idea of y'all leaving triggers the gaslighter/narcissist'due south fright of losing narcissistic supply. They will become frantic, and even try to block you lot from leaving. They will make up reasons to terminate past your home. This is chosen "hoovering," like the vacuum. They are trying to suck you back in, in guild to go their egotistic supply filled again. Y'all may also see the contrary.

What Is Narcissism?
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8. They will drop you like you never existed.

This tin exist as as confusing. The gaslighter/narcissist disappears as if they went into the witness protection program. This usually means that the gaslighter has moved on to their next narcissistic supply. Many people have asked me if they should warn the gaslighter/narcissist's adjacent victim. First, the more than you stay away from the gaslighter/narcissist and their life, the meliorate off you will exist. 2d, you lot may be told by the gaslighter/narcissist'due south side by side victim, "Oh, [gaslighter/narcissist] told me you were crazy and would attempt something like this." I have seen this scenario repeatedly in my counseling practice when survivors of gaslighters/narcissists had every intention of making sure someone else didn't fall prey to the gaslighter/narcissist. Unfortunately, about people don't realize they're in this blazon of abusive relationship until months or years down the line.

ix. They will brand you lot distrust others.

As part of the devaluing procedure, the gaslighter/narcissist will betoken out people to you that they find attractive. They may likewise compare you to their exes. You start viewing others equally potentially cheating with your partner. You start distrusting others, and may even cutting off relationships. This is exactly what the gaslighter/narcissist wants you lot to do—isolate yourself from others and focus all your attention on them.

Narcissism Essential Reads

The lesser line is that this type of personality will go along to cheat on you, regardless of how often they tell y'all they will change. Leaving them can be very hard, especially if you have restructured your life to please them. Merely information technology is possible to motility on and heal.

Not sure if your partner is a gaslighter/narcissist? Read eleven Warning Signs of a Gaslighter and a three-part series starting with 10 Signs You Are In a Human relationship With a Narcissist.

Source: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/here-there-and-everywhere/201906/why-does-your-partner-constantly-cheat

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